Tuesday 24 April 2012

Touché!...or is it Tushé?



Another insanely successful man, music industry giant Simon Cowell, unveils his greatest pampering secrets in his new (ostensibly unauthorized) biography.

Now, although he is a bit of a diva, and takes things a tad too far, some of his madness does have supporting method.

Let us start at Simon’s bottom.  Simon supposedly uses only black quilted toilet paper. 

This may seem like the typical behaviour of a money mad show off, but I think we can learn something from him. Mr Number One shows an attitude towards Number Two that many of us should adopt. Pooping is not the most glamorous of activities, but it is necessary, and if it is necessary why not enjoy it! His derrière just like the rest of ours, has to sit on a toilet and be wiped clean by something before it can be popped back into a pair of undies. So this mundane task should be turned into a form of t.l.c- why do we give our faces so much pampering attention, and not our bottoms? Black toilet paper does not do it for me, but if I could get Dali printed toilet paper, I may spend more time sat on the thrown (feeling like it’s a little less of an embarrassing activity), and feel extra special when its time to wipe my tush! To make the point more clearly, why not make some element of your toilet ritual and environment more glamorous? See if it changes your attitude to pooping. Definitely, tushé....

Simon's face undergoes quite an ordeal! Apparently he is hooked up with Botox twice a year, and carries around at least 2 suitcases full of lotions and potions whenever he travels! However, along with the external resurfacing, he does also work on his face from the inside, injecting vitamins, drinking super-smoothies and eating loads of fruit and veg. Lots of vitamins = healthier body = healthier skin = more youthful appearance!

Now to the gut, the proverbial Mum. I imagine Simon’s gut speaks to him regularly, and I think he is well acquainted to it, and listens to it closely. This is very clear in the fact that he has regular colon hydrotherapy treatments. He knows his gut struggles to process all the nonsense he puts it through, so to show he cares, and understands, he also pampers his gut. In turn, I imagine, his gut treats him much better as well; processing foods better, and therefore gaining more from his super smoothies and air freight delivered fruit!


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